Chicken Nugget Keychain
Carry Snacks AlwaysA tiny chicken nugget that hangs from your keys. Realistic enough to make you hungry. Inedible. Still worth it.
Buy This Dumb ThingExaggerated / Giant Spoon
Absolutely UselessComically oversized spoon. Too big for any bowl you own. Too weird to explain. Too good to not buy.
Buy This Dumb ThingPet Rock
Low MaintenanceComes with a training manual. Never barks. Never bites. Never needs feeding. The perfect pet for a busy lifestyle.
Buy This Dumb ThingSquirrel Finger Puppet
High CultureA tiny squirrel that lives on your finger. Perfect for meetings. Perfect for funerals. Perfect for any occasion, really.
Buy This Dumb ThingCat Plush
Emotional SupportA soft, squishy cat that will never knock your stuff off the table. Technically an upgrade over a real cat.
Buy This Dumb Thing85in Burrito Tortilla Blanket
Sleep ScienceWrap yourself into a human burrito. Seven feet of tortilla blanket. The most comfortable you will ever feel.
Buy This Dumb ThingPoop Emoji Mini Waffle Maker
Breakfast InnovationMakes waffles shaped like the poop emoji. Fully functional. Completely real. This is what technology was for.
Buy This Dumb ThingMacaroni and Cheese Scented Candle
Home FragranceYour home will smell like a box of Kraft Dinner. Guests will be confused. You will be at peace.
Buy This Dumb ThingCrochet Positive Penis
MotivationalA handcrafted, encouraging little guy. Here to support you. Comes with good vibes. No further questions.
Buy This Dumb ThingCVS Receipt Scarf
High FashionA scarf printed to look like a CVS receipt. Double-sided. Incredibly long. A statement piece for the financially aware.
Buy This Dumb ThingMuscular Duck
Fitness GoalsA duck with abs. Sculpted. Ripped. Living its best life. Display it prominently. Let it inspire you.
Buy This Dumb ThingLong Nose Extension
Facial EnhancementA wearable nose extension that makes your nose dramatically longer. For what purpose? Nobody knows. Nobody needs to know.
Buy This Dumb ThingMagnetic Holding Hands Socks
Relationship GoalsSocks with magnets so pairs find each other in the laundry. Solving the problem nobody asked to be solved.
Buy This Dumb ThingScented Corn Squeeze Toy
Stress ReliefA squishy, scented corn toy. Smells like corn. Feels like corn. Is corn. Mostly. Squeeze it. You deserve this.
Buy This Dumb ThingBreak In Case of Emergency Box
Crisis ManagementA tiny box for your personal emergencies. Fill it with whatever you need most. Snacks strongly recommended.
Buy This Dumb ThingEmpty Box (Gift Of Nothing)
MinimalismAn empty box. That's it. Give it to someone special. Let them wonder. Let them sit with that.
Buy This Dumb ThingI Pee in Pools Cap
Bold StatementA hat that makes a declaration. Wear it poolside. Watch people slowly back away. The water is yours now.
Buy This Dumb ThingSix-Seven Mug
Morning ChaosA mug so weird it has a number in its name. Pour coffee into it. Stare at it. Question your choices. Sip.
Buy This Dumb Thing